In the stillness of the quiet, if we listen, we can hear the whisper of the heart giving strength to weakness, courage to fear, hope to despair.
Cancer is a scary word. It can flood your life in a split second and drown you in a tidal wave of intricately woven emotions- anger, fear, hope, denial, confusion, more anger, doubt, optimism, frustration, fervor – sometimes it is hard to differentiate where one ends and the other begins.
When I received a telephone call from my doctor in the middle of work today, my entire being froze in a deathly cold panic. They always say no news is good news, and there is nothing worse news than getting a follow up regarding your pathology results. The mind can accelerate from zero to the speed of light in a matter of seconds, encompassing within it a calculated probability of best to worst case scenarios all the while you sit blankly staring into an empty space on the floor.
With luck, I dodged a bullet and at what I hope is the tail end of my personal roller coaster, I can only endeavor to say that I wish I had as much fight in me as my shining showgirl superstar. I sit in awe as I witness one of the most inspirational women I have met face this ordeal and I am taken aback by her positivity and courage throughout the storm.
Mary, today I think of you and I send you my strength and passion. They say there are no bad experiences, and the main thing I did learn from my brush with fate is that you must discover your thirst for life before you have the sense to realize that it is finite.